Chunky Soup part 2.

Chunky soup was such a pushover last time, and this is actually routed in truth (less salt tastes bad) So I gave it another go.

Dear Chunky Soup.

I'd like to begin by telling you how much I enjoy your brand of hearty flavorful meals. In fact, it took me about 2 minutes to get this far in my letter because I'm forced to stop, and enjoy this bowl of Chicken vegetable soup that sits steaming in front of me.
(I'm now taking another break to eat...Om nom nom)

I do however have 2 minimal complaints to share with you. First I should begin by telling you I am a minimalist. I have a single room mate (who constantly steals my chunky soup to fuel his never ending quest to set a push-up world record. You should endorse his efforts) and we keep a very clean apartment. I'm a proponent of the Feng Shui. Everything in it's place. Balanced, and minimal. So I was appalled today when I went to open up a can of my favorite soup, with it's "easy lid" opening mechanism, only to find it had been replaced with a boring old REGULAR can lid. As part of my minimal lifestyle, I don't own a can opener. I don't believe in them. They clutter up my drawer. They're unsightly. And frankly, good design in cans has rendered the noble can opener obsolete.

(eat break... Om nom nom)

So now what do I do... I must fetch one from my neighbor, who I don't particularly get along with due to her children peeing in my yard... but that has nothing to do with this, does it?

So.. grumpy, and needing to purchase a can opener (which will mess up my Feng Shui) I finally sit down to eat my bowl of Chicken Vegetable soup.

(eat break.... Om nom nom)

Only to find... it doesn't taste very good. Gone is the kick that made my mouth sing with ecstatic culinary joy. Gone is the flavor that, much to the anger and frustration of my mother, had me choose Chunky over a home cooked meal. (It really pissed her off when I did that...)

I then read the can.
"25% less salt"
WHY would you DO THAT?! They don't say "Salt of the earth" for nothing?! Salt is what makes the earth so awesome!! No one ever says "25% less Salt of the Earth" Cause then IT WOULDN'T BE AS GOOD!!

In these tough economic times, I resent that you are passing the extra 25% of salt costs onto hardworking folks such as myself. I'm now forced to purchase 25% more salt, to get you back to where it was in the first place! And guess What?! I DON'T OWN A SALT SHAKER because good food shouldn't require adding salt. Salt Shakers screw with my Feng Shui. I now must own 2 extra tools just to enjoy your soup.

I am saddened by your seeming "1 step forward, 2 steps back" philosophy. I just want things to be like the way there were!!! I had it all... WE had it all....

-Peter

Sure enough, I got a kind letter with 6 bucks worth of Campbells Soup Coupons! Chunky Soup is currently on sale at Loblaws!! I will FEAST!